My dad had an interview down in SD today. I bought him shirts to wear because Bessie was convinced that he wasn’t getting hired because he looked like a schlub. I disagreed, but I bought them nonetheless. I completely forgot that he was down there today until he called me at 2:45 to let me know that he’s coming to my place and hoping I can help him with gas. I had to work late today, so I had to divert him to my office instead. I wasn’t about to let him go to my house and bother my Fruitpie.
He arrived at the office a little after 4:00…which was a good thing because everyone was pretty much packing up for the day. He was wearing a suit and one of the new shirts and yet he still looked awful. It wasn’t his outfit, it was him. He had this run down look of a desperate old man…his hair was wild and wiry and the bags under his eyes could rival a canvas sack. It was depressing. I showed him my servers and the workstation staging area. I showed him my cube and the insides of the office. But, I could not bring myself to introduce him to anybody. I suppose that’s horrible of me.
The interview did not sound like it went well the way he told it, although he seemed optimistic nonetheless. They did not want to hire him because he lives so far away, and he claimed that he could get a place down there. They did not want him to telecommute and he seemed appalled that they did not offer to pay him for the gas he expended to go to the interview in the first place. He mentioned that the person whose job he would be filling was a young girl. He said, “She was 25 or so and probably only making 35 thousand. They probably don’t want to go higher”. I told him that he isn’t in any position to turn down 35k. That’s good money for a man who hasn’t had a real job since Clinton was in office…and hasn’t held one since Reagan. It shocks me that someone who takes money from his temple to buy food for himself and his wife would scoff at a salary of any magnitude.
His backup plan is to write reviews for porn. He seems to think this will make him a couple thousand a month. It turns my stomach, but I guess it’s something. How do you review pornographic movies? It’s not like they have plots or complex story lines. I coudln’t even imagine watching them for a living. Between him and Bessie, it’s amazing that I turned out to be a functioning adult. I’m not so much without my pills, but still better off than them. It’s sad…and I don’t know what to do about them. I have my own family to take care of. It shouldn’t be my job to take care of them as well. Especially not when they refuse to make an honest living for themselves. They don’t even seem to be trying.
My mom called yesterday and asked me if I could get my dad a shirt so he’d have something nice to wear for interviews. Their latest suspicions are that he is not nailing these jobs because he looks like a schmuck. So, while Fruitpie and I were at Sam’s later on, we bought three nice dress shirts for him. I called her back and she said that they need it by Tuesday. I told her I’d try to mail it out and she said that she really would like to come down, see me and pick them up. Later on, I called her and invited them down Sunday. What does she do? Blow me off. “Oh, your father is at Temple and I’ll really have to ask him what he wants to do”. What.The.Fuck? You nag me incessantly for months to invite you down and then when I do, you do this?
I shouldn’t be surprised…I really shouldn’t.
I have felt that achy, crampy nausea that usually accompanies my period all day. It hit me early this morning…a sudden wave of cramps and cold sweats seemingly out of nowhere. I’ll probably start tomorrow, but the way I feel today is probably not a good sign. Some months are better than others, and I think this one is going to be a flat on my back extravaganza. I’ve been taking pills all day, but everything hurts nonetheless. I can’t help but wonder if that surgery would make this better or worse. The doctor said that I will certainly need it at some point and I am inclined to just get it over with.
The weather has been amazing the past few days. The seasons this year seem to turn overnight. A few days ago, it was hot and dry. On Monday, I was driving down the hill from my house and noticed the first leaves turning yellow on the trees. Time went by so quickly. We’ve been getting moments of rain that evaporates almost as soon as it falls. I keep wishing for a thunderstorm, but this cloudiness is still a welcome treat. I don’t remember the weather being like this in L.A. We hardly ever got storms there and here they seem to come every August…if only briefly. It’s hotter in the summer and cooler in the winter…and the air is so much cleaner than where I grew up. I’m going down there for a weekend next month and I can’t help but wonder what it will be like. I’ll be staying with C and her husband for the first time since they were married last year. I haven’t seen her since the wedding and I think we’ve only talked about three times. She finally understands why I am so hard to get ahold of. It’s odd how the daily routines of married life do that to a person. All I want to do at the end of the day is curl up on the couch with my Fruitpie…and when I’m not doing that, I’m taking care of the dogs or picking up around the house…or sitting on my ass thinking about how I should be doing one of those things.
It’s a warm and humid night and my Fruitpie is trying to sleep upstairs in freshly cleaned sheets. I want to crawl in next to her and attack her like an animal, but I know she’d be much too tired in the morning if I did. I’ll have to restrain myself for one more night before christening those sheets…and I hope I still feel up to it tomorrow. It amazes me every day how much I love that woman. Those almond eyes and that beautiful smile still melt me to my core. I can’t wait to get under those covers and feel her warmth next to me…even if I can’t touch her for fear of waking her up. Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am.
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Baby Trials Leave a Comment
We went to see our OBG again yesterday. At this point, the news we get is no longer a surprise, but it would be nice to hear some optimism every now and again. The waiting room was torturous. It wasn’t even that we had to wait very long, but it seems we came in on the day that every very pregnant woman in the valley was having a check-up. Many dragged their husbands and the rest brought their gaggles of children. In between wanting to kick every single one of them in the shins, I wondered if the ones with multiple kids would really notice if I took one off their hands.
Why does everything have to be so difficult? My Fruitpie gets the burn for her age and I get it for my endo. We have six months of this to go through if the IUIs don’t work. He wants me to see the fertility specialist about my endo situation since that endometrioma had grown two cm in two months. It’s likely not going anywhere on its own and it probably won’t be a good thing if it does. Fruitpie is going in for a physical in a few weeks and hopefully we’ll be giving it our first shot with IUIs soon.
Before I left work today, my boss came over to me for no particular reason. She had that look on her face like she wanted to say something but couldn’t. She was overly cryptic and held our eye contact as if trying to engage a telepathic link. I thought it odd, but not entirely unlike her. She seems to have grown very open with me…and partly I think that comes from the fact that I tend to illicit a maternal response from women over fifty. I try desperately to keep my guard up because I really don’t trust her as far as I could throw her, but I do like her despite myself.
In some ways, she reminds me of my ex’s mother who was very much a mother to me until the breakup. The severing of that relationship was doubly painful for that reason, amongst many others. But, there are many words of wisdom she impressed upon me that have become woven into my psyche’s fabric. One such pearl I had thought was a myth until today. I used to bitch endlessly about the people we worked with…the most obnoxious of whom still works there. Nonetheless, her advice was this…”People like that are their own undoing”. When my former boss became my boss, I repeated these words in my head for months. Admittedly, in the past, I would’ve just jumped ship in this situation. This time, the gig is just too good…and I need to grow up and stop running away from my problems. No matter what it is in life, it seems that leaving one gnarly situation only expells you into the beginning stages of yet another one. Sometimes it’s just better to ride those big waves.
So, I was sitting down to my computer tonight to write about, well, I don’t even remember what when I saw a notification that my boss had sent me an email. The subject was ‘hi’ and she sent it at 8:31 this evening. Apparently, my former boss submitted her resignation this afternoon. I was shocked to say the least. Just a few days ago my ex mentioned that one of her work friends was ‘laid off’ and how odd it was. Now I’m feeling that bizarreness. Tomorrow morning, I will be deactivating all of her accounts and undoubtedly forwarding much crap of hers to my boss. Obnoxious as she was, she had made herself a huge presence in the organization so much that the whole dynamic in the office will undoubtedly change. She made this place like a Jr.high school with her immaturity and cliqueishness. Now I can’t help but wonder if her cronies will follow suit.
And with that, my ex-mother figure was absolutely correct. She was her own undoing. Yes, she wasn’t fired per se, but she certainly made her bed. It was only a matter of time before someone else took notice…and I hung on for the ride.
